


Oh Brother!

by Liz3yy317865



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: 90's Deaky, Brothers and Sisters - Freeform, Deaky family time, Family Fluff, Family fun, Food Fight, Gen, I just cobbled this together, Pregnant Ronnie, Sibling Rivalry, So sue me, Sweet as hell, The Deacon family, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and i mean fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz3yy317865/pseuds/Liz3yy317865
Summary: “Dad?”“Daaaaaddddddd!”“...Urgh, *deep breath…* DAD!”“Hey! that’s enough love, stop shouting please, I heard you the first time. What’s all this commotion about then eh Missy?”“I was trying to get your attention Dad and you were ignoring me…” Laura replied sadlyJohn rolled his eyes, his one and only daughter could be a manipulative little madam at times, and it was only getting worse now that the family had a recent new addition plus another one due any day now.OR:It's the early 90's and John has to grapple with raising his ever increasing brood, whilst dealing with teenage tantrums, sibling bust ups and a heavily pregnant wife.Oh the joys of family life...
Relationships: John Deacon/Veronica Tetzlaff
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Oh Brother!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little bit of tooth rotting family fluff I cobbled together on a whim, a little bit of light relief from some of the angst going on in the world. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Dad?”

“Daaaaaddddddd!”

“...Urgh, *deep breath…* DAD!”

“Hey! that’s enough love, stop shouting please, I heard you the first time. What’s all this commotion about then eh Missy?”

“I was trying to get your attention Dad and you were ignoring me…” Laura replied sadly

John rolled his eyes, his one and only daughter could be a manipulative little madam at times, and it was only getting worse now that the family had a recent new addition plus another one due any day now. 

“Hey come on” John replied with a sigh, whilst his youngest son Luke gurgled happily in his arms, “You know I’m busy right now keeping an eye on your baby brother here, plus your Mother is upstairs trying to sleep. If you want to talk to me about something just ask nicely and quietly please ok sweetheart?”

“Sorry Dad…”

“That’s better, now what did you want to show or tell me?”

“I want to make a cake for Mum...but it has to be a secret” 

Oh god…

“But her birthday is months away my love?”

“It’s not a birthday cake silly!” Laura rolled her eyes, looking at John with thinly veiled contempt, “I just want to do something nice for Mum, but I have to plan it now, if I don’t leave enough time it won’t be right. We need to go the store and get all the ingredients” 

“What’s all this we business eh?” John teased. 

“You have to help me Dad! I can’t go to the store by myself, Mum said I’m still now allowed...which is really stupid, I’m not a kid anymore...” 

John raised an eyebrow, no you’re 13 going on 30…

John regarded his daughter with the best stern Dad look he could muster. The teenager seemed unmoved though, glaring back at him with an equally stern and unimpressed expression. If John didn’t act quickly he risked having yet another full blown tantrum on his hands. He’d done his best to not spoil the girl, but Laura was unfortunately now at the age where answering back and pushing boundaries was becoming a regular occurrence. 

John had to admit that Laura was old enough now to be out by herself, and that going to the store alone wouldn’t be an issue as long as she was careful and kept her wits about her, remembered not to talk to strangers etc...he’d endured a sheltered childhood himself and was adamant that his own children should be allowed the freedom he was often denied. His wife Veronica however wasn’t quite on the same page. 

John had had a bit of a battle with Veronica over the issue since Laura’s last birthday, clashing with her over their differences of opinion. She was more than happy for their boys to come and go as they pleased, but was more comfortable with their daughter being accompanied everywhere she went. The youngster would complain that it wasn’t fair, how she was being victimised. There was much stomping of feet, slamming of doors and cries of I hate you, I wish I’d been born a boy!

Oh the joys of having children.

John didn’t want to risk going against his wife’s wishes and risk enduring her wrath should she find out in her current state. It was bad enough having a hormonal teenager giving him grief, he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his heavily pregnant wife’s grumpiness as well. But then...as the saying goes, what you don’t know can’t hurt you...would it really be so bad to break the rules just once? 

“Dad, are you going to help me or not?!” 

John was bought out of his daydream by Laura waving her arms about, her bottom lip wobbling threateningly. 

Oh bugger it, just this once won’t hurt.

John placed Luke into his baby bouncer then reached into his pocket and extracted a crisp £10 note from his wallet. Holding it between finger and thumb enticingly. 

“Alright, alright! Yes I’ll help you, I’ll help you make the cake for Mum. But...I was thinking, if I give you some money, do you want to go to Sainsbury’s down the road and get the ingredients yourself?” 

Laura’s eyes lit up like a Xmas tree, before a frown crossed her features, “But Mum said…”

“Don’t you worry about Mum alright, she doesn’t have to know does she?” It was wrong to go against his wife's wishes without checking with her first, but sod it, Laura was his child too and he also had a say in parenting decisions. Was it petty and childish of him? Probably but he’d deal with any fall out as and when. 

Laura took the money tentatively, “I don’t want to lie to Mum” Bless her, she was a good girl deep down despite it all. 

“You won’t have to sweetheart, I promise” John reassured her, “Because Mum won’t find out. Now if you’re quick we can get the cake made this afternoon? What do you say?” 

Laura didn’t need much more persuasion. She happily skipped off to the local store less than 5 minutes walk away with the promise that she’d buy only what she needed and come straight back home. Her Dad’s words of “Remember, no sweets!” ringing in her ears. That was one thing that John would not be prepared to compromise on. 

An hour later John stood surveying a scene of culinary carnage. He’d left Laura to it for 10 minutes whilst he checked on the still snoozing Veronica upstairs and changed the babies nappy, thinking his daughter would be fine by herself but no...whilst his back was turned his other sons Michael and Joshua had returned home from a play date in the park with their friends, and thought it would be great fun to instigate a food fight with their sister.

On hearing the shrill shrieks from downstairs John had thought the worst, he quickly gathered Luke in his arms and ran downstairs bracing himself for all manner of catastrophes. When he reached the kitchen though John wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the sight that greeted him. It looked like an explosion in a cake factory. Not a single surface had survived the episode unscathed. 

The floor was covered in flour, the work tops caked in raw cake batter, and the walls dripping with melted butter. In the middle of it all stood a shocked looking Laura, flanked either side by an only very slightly guilty looking Michael and Josh. All three of them looked an absolute state, smeared with the same sticky and gooey substances that adorned the kitchen surfaces. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” Laura blurted out, “They started it!” 

John said nothing for a moment, not trusting himself to say something he’d regret. He instead focussed on getting the baby settled, whilst taking a deep breath and counting to 10 in his head. The silence in the room was deafening. 

John finally looked up and slowly entered the ruined kitchen with wide eyes. Neither of the boys had spoken up yet, seemingly too scared of their Dad’s reaction. The youngest, Joshua looked close to tears. 

“...So…” John began, keeping his voice low and calm, “Anyone care to explain what’s happened here?” 

“We were only having a laugh Dad” Michael explained, “But we...we got a bit carried away I think”

You don’t say

“He started it” Joshua pointed a finger accusingly at his older brother.

“Yeah and you joined in!” Laura threw back angrily, “All I wanted to do was make a nice cake for mum, and you had to go and ruin it!”

John raised his eyes to the heavens as the three of them suddenly started bickering in front of him, pushing and shoving each other and slipping on the mess all over the floor. Accusations were being hurled left, right and centre...he had to get this under control before Ronnie heard and came to investigate. 

“That’s enough! All of you!” John strode into the room dodging the worst of the mess, and deposited Luke in his high chair who responded by gurgling and clapping his hands together with delight. 

At least someone was happy. 

John couldn’t blame Laura for all of this, the poor girl was just trying to be creative. It was her naughty and mischievous brothers that needed a proverbial (and literal) smack on the bum. 

“Laura sweetheart, go and get cleaned up my love. We’ll try again with your cake later alright? Just...please don’t let your mother see you like that” 

Laura trudged off despondently in the direction of her room, muttering as she went about how unfair it was to yet again have her plans ruined. At least this time she didn’t explode and threaten to kick Michaels head in as she had done once before after having her walkman hidden for a joke. She hadn’t lived that one down for quite a while, earning herself a months long ban from seeing her friends for good measure. 

Now all John had to do was deal with the boys. 

To their horror John ordered them both to rinse off in the shower and then get to work cleaning up all the mess they’d made. Every last scrap of it. John took a seat in the corner and played with Luke whilst he supervised, and enjoyed a cup of tea. Ignoring the whines and complaints from the two little tykes. They caused all this, so they could sort it out.

It took a good hour to get the kitchen looking close to respectable again, not helped by Josh in particular dragging his feet and having to re-do most of his efforts. He was only 9 years old to be fair, but he was also old enough to learn a lesson in how to respect his parents property. If John didn’t put his foot down, and let his kids get away with murder who know’s where it could lead in the future. 

With everything clean(ish) and everyone calmed down, John inspected the boys handiwork. It looked...ok...but he couldn’t help cringing at the greasy stains pebble dashed across the walls. He wondered if he could coerce Luke into doing some creative finger painting to cover it up. No amount of washing or scrubbing was going to remove it. 

Damn. 

Both Michael and Josh stood awkwardly awaiting their Dads verdict, looking like a pair of convicts awaiting their execution. John was annoyed, but couldn’t stay mad at them for long. They’d meant no harm, had just got a bit carried away with their childish enthusiasm, and had (hopefully) learned an important lesson along the way.  
“Well, what do you say then boys?” 

“Sorry Dad” Michael whispered bashfully. 

“Yeah, sorry Daddy” Joshua parrotted, looking equally ashamed.

John smiled and chuckled lightly before holding his arms out, “Come on you two, give your Dad a hug? You’re never too old for a hug from Dad”

The two brothers glanced at each for a moment before launching themselves at John, almost knocking him over. “That’s better, you’re both forgiven. Just don’t do it again alright? Your Mum finds out about this she’ll have my guts for garters” 

“Find out about what?” 

Shit. 

Veronica had awoken from her nap and wandered downstairs in a slightly sleepy daze, confused by the quietness in the house. In her mind quietness equalled trouble when you had a house full of young children. She walked slowly into the kitchen and cocked an eyebrow at the scene in front of her, something was off she could tell. 

John was just about to face his wife, and concoct some half hearted cock and bull story to put her off the scent when movement in the hallway caught everyone's attention. They heard the front door close and footsteps echo down the hall before a young voice called out

“Dad, I managed to get an even better cake than the one I was gonna make, look at thi…oh shit”

The words died in the girl's throat as she looked up to find her whole family looking at her in surprise. 

“Language, young lady” Veronica admonished her daughter, before gesturing to the box balancing on her arms, “What’s all this then?..Where did you get that? Have you been out, on your own?” 

“Erm…” Laura looked desperately past her Mother to her Dad and brothers, this could end in tears. 

“What’s happened in here? Why does it smell so strange, like a mixture of bleach and sugar?” Veronica asked no one in particular as she walked slowly around the kitchen, before stopping by the window and pointing at the rather obvious grease stains up and down the wall, “....What on earth is this?!” 

John was just about to confess when Michael beat him to it. 

“It’s my fault Mum, I’m really sorry...we had a food fight and made a real big mess. We tried really hard to clean it all up, but...we got some butter on the wall and we couldn’t get it all off…”

“Is this true?” Veronica turned to John in astonishment, “Where were you when all this was going on may I ask?”

“I was checking on you my love, and also looking after this little one” Gesturing at Luke was bouncing happily in his high chair. It’s….been a bit chaotic this afternoon”

“I can see that…so, what prompted this food fight then?”

“Laura wanted to do something nice for you, so I said she could pop down the road and get the ingredients to bake you a cake. Then these two little monkeys got back from their footie match and I can only presume decided it would be fun to lend a hand…” John shrugged, “I didn’t know that Laura had slipped out again though, you should have asked young lady” 

Veronica shook her head and chuckled softly, “Oh my…”

“Sorry Mummy, we didn’t mean to wake you or the baby” Joshua piped up quietly whilst shuttling his feet, “Are we in trouble now?” 

Veronica had to laugh at the situation, and also be touched by her daughter's thoughtfulness. She quite fancied a slice of cake now and a mug of tea to wash it down. 

“No, no. No one is in trouble sweetheart. I don’t mind you kids having fun and letting off steam, I don’t mind at all, of course not. Just keep it outside next time ok? That’s what the garden is for”

“...Do you want some cake Mum?” Laura offered, more as a peace offering than anything else. 

“Oh I thought you’d never ask darling, that looks fabulous”

A short while later with everyone settled with tea or squash, and seated round the kitchen table, John did the honours, serving everyone a generous slice of cake topped off with whipped cream. It wasn’t the one that Laura had intended to bake by herself but the sentiment was still the same. 

“This is delicious Laura darling, thank you” Veronica sighed happily whilst rubbing her large bump, “I think the baby is enjoying it too” 

Laura beamed at her Mother’s praise, “I’ll make you one for real next week Mum, any flavour you want” 

“...So I guess the question remains over what to do about the walls then?” John asked gingerly, “We can’t really leave it like this” 

“Oh don’t worry about that love” Veronica replied dismissively with a wave of her hand, “I was planning a kitchen makeover once baby’s born anyway. You kids have done us a favour”

There was a stunned silence in the room, before John burst into laughter and had to leave the room when he almost choked on his cake. The children meanwhile simply looked confused. 

“...Y..you mean we were worrying over nothing?” Michael replied a little indignantly, letting his fork clatter against his plate. “I worked my bum off scrubbing the walls for no reason at all?!”

“Serves you right!” Laura crowed, “Sticking her tongue out at her brother, “That’ll teach you to stick your nose in” 

“You take that back!”

“No!”

Veronica said nothing, simply smirking to herself as she picked up Luke from his high chair. She made as quick an exit as her pregnant belly would let her, the sounds of her children bickering and squabbling echoing down the hall as she went. 

She found John in the lounge still a little red faced from his coughing fit. 

“Well that was...interesting” Veronica chuckled, “What do you say we get this little one settled and shut ourselves in the den for a bit?” 

“What about the kids?” 

“They’ll be fine. They’ll sort themselves out eventually and with any luck tire themselves out while they’re at it. They can manage without us for a bit…”

John gave his wife a knowing look whilst waggling his eyebrows, “So how long do I get then?”

“15 minutes?” 

“Is that all?! Come on, make it 30 at least…” 

“Oh, someone has a high opinion of themselves!” 

“I’ll make it worth your while?” 

Veronica laughed as her husband gently picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the room, ignoring her squeals of protest. It was days like this that reminded her why she loved her family so much, there was never a quiet day in the Deacon house and that was just the way she loved it.


End file.
